Yet He open not His mouth

Yesterday night, again, i woke up in the middle of the night, i guess it was 2 something..

I had runny nose and was sneezing. The verses from Isa53 appear before me, so I prayed, according to what pastor explaint;

"Surely, He has borne all our diseases, and carried all our pain.." then i personalised it:

"Surely! He has borne all my diseases, and carried all my pain.."(Isa 53:4)

I prayed a few times, and while remembering the rest of the verses, this particular verse jump to me: yet he opened not his mouth (Isa 53:7)

yet he opened not his mouth...

How many times, when i (and i also see it happen to others around me), suffer a little, feeling tired over work, i complain, i feel angry, i feel like i have to announce to the whole world, or at lease my boss has to know what i had done; overtime until 1.00am.., i am the one who think of that idea which help win the project...blah blah blah... me me me...i i i...

yet he opened not his mouth...

My dear Lord, He went through the greatest suffering one can hardly imagine, He suffered, wounded, humiliated..for me. All that He suffered, was for me.

The bible said, "yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted."(isa 53:4) We thought, Wow God is really angry with this guy, before we come to the understanding that, it was our sin that He carried, our transgression that He was punished for. He was judged guilty for our iniquity.

He didn't shout to those who mocked Him: "shut up you rebels, don't you know this is your cross that i am carrying??!! It's your sin that I am judged!??! No, He is not like Moses. He would not misrepresent His Father.

yet he opened not his mouth... like a lamb to the slaughter, He quietly move His way to the end.

He did not shout for His innocence, He did not even cry for pity. No. He took it all.

I saw myself at the way of pain, looking at Him, carrying the cross, i asked Him: No! Lord! why...

He looked into my eyes with His love: I am willing.

My God! i cried and cried.. trembling.. calling Him.. oh Lord! thank you, thank you! this is the lease i can do, offering of my thanksgiving. i can almost see Him smile:

Isa 53:10-12 Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand.

He shall see of the travail of his soul, and shall be satisfied: by his knowledge shall my righteous servant justify many; for he shall bear their iniquities.

Therefore will I divide him a portion with the great, and he shall divide the spoil with the strong; because he hath poured out his soul unto death: and he was numbered with the transgressors; and he bare the sin of many, and made intercession for the transgressors.

Amen and amend, thank you, my Lord.